


Hold Me Alex

by SophieD



Series: Parker and Alex [18]
Category: Leverage, Orange is the New Black
Genre: F/F, Femslash, Jealousy, Lesbian, Living Together, PaLex - Freeform, friendships, relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-06
Updated: 2015-06-06
Packaged: 2018-04-03 02:29:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,012
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4083232
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SophieD/pseuds/SophieD
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Parker is away and Alex and Nicky fall back into old habits.  What will happen when Parker catches them?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hold Me Alex

**Author's Note:**

> Comments comments comments! Always working on something new. You want it to be PaLex, you have to let me know.

Nicky has been living here for a week now. We haven’t gone furniture shopping so she has been sleeping on our couch. I’m surprised by how fast we’ve slid back into old habits.

Parker has been gone all day. Doing thief stuff I guess. Nicky and I have been hanging out, neither of us really has the want or the energy to do anything. We were on the couch, watching TV when I found myself lying next to her, my arms wrapped around her. It wasn’t something I thought about. It’s just what we’ve always done. I’m more than halfway asleep when I hear the door open.

I look up and Parker is standing in the open door. She’s just staring. “Damn!” I mutter as I push Nicky to the floor and jump to my feet. “What the fuck?” Nicky exclaims. She was sleeping and didn’t hear Parker come in. Parker is still staring at me. Her face doesn’t show any emotion. I have no idea what she’s thinking. “Parker…I don’t…I mean…fuck Parker.” I want to explain but I can’t put any words together. Parker looks at Nicky on the floor and back at me. She doesn’t say a word. She gently closes the door behind her and walks to the bedroom. She’s not looking at me now, her face still expressionless. 

Nicky finally finds her voice. “Alex. Shit. I’m sorry.” I shrug. “You need to go talk to her Alex. Or do you want me to?” I shrug again. “Well don’t just stand there like a fucking idiot. Go after her!” “I didn’t know you cared Nicky” I say. “I don’t. But I like it here. I don’t want you to fuck that up.” I sigh. “Shut up Nicky”. She shrugs as she picks herself up off the floor and flops back down on the couch. “You make a better door than a window.” I turn and glare at her. “Alex! Go!” “Fine” I mumble.   
I go to the bedroom and slowly open the door. I am surprised to see Parker there. I figured she’d be halfway down the side of the building by now. She’s sitting in the middle of the bed. Her eyes are closed, legs crossed, her back perfectly straight. You would think she was meditating or something like that unless you know to look at her hands. They’re folded in her lap but I can see her fingers turning purple from squeezing them tight. 

I sit on the edge of the bed. “Parker?” No response. “C’mon Parker. Talk to me.” I reach to touch her face and she moves away. “Fuck Parker. I’m sorry. It’s an old habit. I wasn’t thinking. It won’t ever happen again.” Still no response. “Look Parker. It’s just a prison thing. I know you don’t understand this but people like me, like Nicky, we’re used to, I don’t know, being touched I guess. Being in prison, you’re all alone. Sometimes for years. Sometimes you just need some sort of contact with another human being. It doesn’t mean anything. I mean I love Nicky but not the way I love you. OK? Nicky doesn’t have anyone or anything. I was just, shit Parker. It was a mistake. An old habit. I won’t let it happen again.” 

Parker doesn’t move except to ask “You had sex with her?” I feel suddenly queasy. “Yeah. A couple of times. A long time ago. Kind of the same thing. Just making some sort of connection. Trying to survive. It didn’t mean I was in love with her.” Again, no response. “It was a long time ago Parker. I haven’t had, haven’t wanted to have sex with anyone but you. Not since the day we met. I swear Parker. I don’t want that from Nicky. It’s only you OK? You’re the one I want to be with. If you want Nicky to go…” “I don’t want that Alex” she finally says. Her voice is soft. “And I know. And I guess it’s OK if you want to cuddle Nicky. You’re right, I don’t understand. But I believe you.” “Thank you” I whisper. 

“You know you’re the only one I want to be with right?” She finally opens her eyes and looks at me. I take a peek at her hands and she’s let go a bit. I reach out to touch her again but this time she doesn’t move. “I love you Parker. I really do. Not like I’ve loved anyone else ever in my life. I love to hold you. And touch you. I want to make you happy Parker. If that means Nicky has to go, if I never see her again, I would be OK with that.”

“No Alex. That’s not what I want. I want you to love Nicky. I was just surprised. I guess I don’t care if you want to hold her. Just do it when I’m not here. When I am here I want you to hold me like that.” I smile at her. “OK Parker. I can deal with that.” “Just don’t have sex with her OK?” “Yeah Parker. OK. I promise.” We’re both quiet for a few seconds. Parker has a small smile on her face. “Alex?” “Yeah?” “You can have sex with me.” I smile back. “Only if you’re sure.” “I’m sure” she says as she reaches for me.   
I am busy pulling Parker’s clothes off when I hear Nicky knock on the bedroom door. “Hey. Is everything OK?” Neither of us answer her. “So you’re not coming back out then?” I look at Parker and she giggles. “Ah fuck. You two are getting busy aren’t you?” Parker giggles again before I put my hand over her mouth. “Yeah well fuck you both!” Nicky yells. “That’s what I’m trying to do here Nick.” I yell back. “I don’t need to know that Alex!” She yells again. I can hear her stomp away and then the volume of the TV goes up. I look at Parker again. She smiles as she pulls me down onto her.


End file.
